We Are The World 25 for Haiti

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?

The "new version" of "We Are The World" will probably generate tons of charitable contributions to relief in Haiti. Great. Awesome. I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is the sad pathetic excuse for a benefit recording. 

These big, star-studded songs aren't really about charity at all. They're mostly about rich, famous douchebags pretending to give a crap about poor people. By singing. Nothing heals the hearts of a country devastated by poverty, political corruption and natural disaster quite like an overblown pop song! And in this case it's even more of a passive-aggressive "fuck you" to the rest of the world. 

This time they didn't even write a new song. They covered a song written 25 years ago for USA for Africa! And they even had the stones to sample the original recording so Janet could sing with Michael (awwww). It's exactly what Elton John did when he re-recorded "Candle in the Wind" and tried to pretend it was about Princess Di.

And to add insult to injury a lot these "stars" are kind of second-rate. I'm not saying that these people haven't had hit songs, but the whole event has kind of an off-brand feel. Justin Bieber? are you kidding me? Pink? The Madden Twins from Good Charlotte? Where's Lady Gaga? Where's Jay-Z? Where's the guy from Kings of Leon? Half the list of artist involved reads like a run-down of the most bland and awful top-40 garbage of the past decade (Jason Mraz?  Katharine McPhee? Why are these people here?).

And then of course you have the other half of the list which is made up of singers that really bland, boring people (like your hyper-conservative aunt or hippie-burnout uncle) think are the biggest stars in music. Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion, The Members of Heart and Carlos Santana were all on hand.

Also Jeff Bridges and Vince Vaughan were somehow involved. It's like Quincy Jones chose the stars for this project by just flipping through an issue of Entertainment Weekly and randomly pointing at people.

I haven't gotten to the performances. And GOOD GOD,are they something else! There's so much auto-tune going on there's almost no point in figuring out which terrible RnB or rap "artist" is singing. The more "rock" vocals don't fare much better, as they are all either ridiculously overwrought or pass by so quickly you'd be hard pressed to notice them.

In closing, all I can say is this is a travesty. The money generated for Haiti Relief is great (even though 40% of it will go to administrative costs, advertising and royalties once the relief effort has been completely abandoned.) but the song itself is a crime against humanity. And I don't use that term lightly (Okay, well I did use it when they left the pickle on my Bacon Deluxe at Wendy's the other night, but still...)! 

The least Quincy Jones and all these "big stars" could have done is come up with something original that at least makes it seem like they gave this some thought. Better yet, they all could have just skipped recording the song and written some checks to the Red Cross. But no, they have to let their left hand know what their right hand is doing. Can't pass up free publicity and a chance to look like you give a shit.