I have really missed Alkaline Trio, and the one video they released for "Help Me" off their last album was a bit disappointing. This one is not exactly the most amazing thing I've seen in the last year, but it's a pretty fun video, and it has kids slamming into each other and turning into puffs of confetti, so yeah, that's pretty...umm...what?
The "new version" of "We Are The World" will probably generate tons of charitable contributions to relief in Haiti. Great. Awesome. I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is the sad pathetic excuse for a benefit recording.
These big, star-studded songs aren't really about charity at all. They're mostly about rich, famous douchebags pretending to give a crap about poor people. By singing. Nothing heals the hearts of a country devastated by poverty, political corruption and natural disaster quite like an overblown pop song! And in this case it's even more of a passive-aggressive "fuck you" to the rest of the world.
This time they didn't even write a new song. They covered a song written 25 years ago for USA for Africa! And they even had the stones to sample the original recording so Janet could sing with Michael (awwww). It's exactly what Elton John did when he re-recorded "Candle in the Wind" and tried to pretend it was about Princess Di.
And to add insult to injury a lot these "stars" are kind of second-rate. I'm not saying that these people haven't had hit songs, but the whole event has kind of an off-brand feel. Justin Bieber? are you kidding me? Pink? The Madden Twins from Good Charlotte? Where's Lady Gaga? Where's Jay-Z? Where's the guy from Kings of Leon? Half the list of artist involved reads like a run-down of the most bland and awful top-40 garbage of the past decade (Jason Mraz? Katharine McPhee? Why are these people here?).
And then of course you have the other half of the list which is made up of singers that really bland, boring people (like your hyper-conservative aunt or hippie-burnout uncle) think are the biggest stars in music. Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion, The Members of Heart and Carlos Santana were all on hand.
Also Jeff Bridges and Vince Vaughan were somehow involved. It's like Quincy Jones chose the stars for this project by just flipping through an issue of Entertainment Weekly and randomly pointing at people.
I haven't gotten to the performances. And GOOD GOD,are they something else! There's so much auto-tune going on there's almost no point in figuring out which terrible RnB or rap "artist" is singing. The more "rock" vocals don't fare much better, as they are all either ridiculously overwrought or pass by so quickly you'd be hard pressed to notice them.
In closing, all I can say is this is a travesty. The money generated for Haiti Relief is great (even though 40% of it will go to administrative costs, advertising and royalties once the relief effort has been completely abandoned.) but the song itself is a crime against humanity. And I don't use that term lightly (Okay, well I did use it when they left the pickle on my Bacon Deluxe at Wendy's the other night, but still...)!
The least Quincy Jones and all these "big stars" could have done is come up with something original that at least makes it seem like they gave this some thought. Better yet, they all could have just skipped recording the song and written some checks to the Red Cross. But no, they have to let their left hand know what their right hand is doing. Can't pass up free publicity and a chance to look like you give a shit.
I haven't devoted any blog space for hip hop yet. It's not because I have anything against the genre. I went through that phase every (sub)urban white kid goes through were they think it's really cool to wear baggy pants and talk in fractured English. Though I've fortunately grown out of embarassing myself by calling girls "shawty", I still enjoy some Hip-Hop although it's not my first choice when I'm driving around listening to the radio. Still, it wouldn't be fair for me to ignore such a culturally relevant genre.
I also haven't done any lists yet, and people really love lists (judging by the popularity of blogs like 11Points and Topless Robot). So I now present the 10 hip-hop songs I actually like. (In order from least to most)
10. "Forever" by Drake featuring Li'l Wayne, Kanye West and Eminem.
See? You probably thought I would only go for older hip-hop songs (see www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com)
But this is a favorite of mine from 2009. It's pretty much a standard bragging song. I don't know much about Drake, but apparently he's Canadian (Something else white people like) and he got on the radio without a record label. Whatever. Not important, because this song is all about the guest rappers. I HATE Li'l Wayne. I find his music grating and insipid. But when he's a guest rapper, confined to a single verse, and ACTUALLY RAPPING, NOT AUTO-TUNING, he's not so bad. From there it only gets better as Kanye West reminds us why we liked "College Dropout" in the first place. Then, of course Eminem caps it all off in a third verse at break-neck speed. I was starting to think Em had lost his edge, what with the Mariah Carey feud and all, but he's in top form here. Wait? Rappers actually rapping again? Did I travel back in time to 2002?
9."Izzo (HOVA)" by Jay Z
Sure, the hook is kind of ridiculous and these days you'd look like a huge jackass running around going "H to the Izz O". But it's still got a great beat and showcases Jay Z's pop sensibility and his lyrical brilliance. This song is still cool, even after being quoted by Good Charlotte.
8."Keep Their Heads Ringing" by Dr. Dre
This song scared the crap out of me when I was about 10. It has that element of danger that so much of modern hip-hop is missing. When you were 10 years old, hanging out in the heavily ethnic suburbs and a low-riding cadillac drove by, you about pissed yourself, especially if they were playing "Keep Their Heads Ringing".
Now that I'm older and realize not everyone who listens to Gangsta Rap is trying to bust a cap in my ass, I can really enjoy the song for what it is. A masterpiece.
7."The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg
Dre will reappear again in the top 5, as he has become one of my favorite Hip-Hop artists. His production on this track is just beautiful. Everything flows so perfectly, and Snoop Dogg is the epitome of West-Coast cool. These guys really need to team up again, because D-O-Double-G has kind of fallen off the bad ass bandwagon.
6."Hypnotize" by Biggie Smalls
This beats out the previous two entries simply by having such an aggressively funky bass line. Biggie's marble-mouthed, yet rhythmically deft delivery has yet to be matched by modern rappers. If there's such a thing as classic hip-hop, this gets my vote as a golden oldie.
5."Let Me Blow Ya Mind" by Eve featuring Gwen Stefani.
When this funky, minimalist hit first surfaced, Rappers and pop-stars collaborating was practically unheard of. Especially if both were female, and especially when the girl singing the hook was formerly of new-wave/ska hitmakers No Doubt. Still, this was a hint of Stefani's future as a Top 40 staple. Eve is one of my favorite female rappers. She was less trashy than Li'l Kim or Foxxy Brown. But she had talent to beat the band. I don't know what she's up to these days, but hip-hop could use some strong female voices again (other than just Missy Elliot). Oh, and Dre produced it, so of course I love it.
4."The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem
This profane little diddy shot Eminem to superstar status. The hook is undeniable, even now that "all the other slim shady's" have packed up and gone back home. The lyrics are a bit dated now, but still hilariously offensive.
3."Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz
Okay, this one leans more towards the alternative hip hop/indie side of things, but it's got enough rap verses to count. This was a truly bizarre hit song. Nothing about it suggests a top-40 hit. A burnt-out Brit-Pop star? Cartoon band avatars? A strange, almost off-key hook? An obscure rapper with an unusual name? How did this become such a big song? Oh yeah, it rocks. Del Tha Funky Homosapien's off-kilter verses managed to add an air of menace to the wonky, psychedelic vibe of this track. Without this song, there could never have been a "Hey Ya!" or a "Crazy". I'm not kidding.
2. "So Fresh, So Clean" by Outkast I had a tough time choosing my favorite Outkast song. There are plenty of good candidates, but this one still sticks out in my mind because it was the follow up single to their monumental hit "Miss Jackson". This song was more fun, and actually had a better hook, but was overshadowed by it's big brother track. Outkast would never be this united again, as the two artists who made up the group began to go in vastly different directions. Consider this a snapshot of the perfect moment in their meteoric career.
1."California Love" by 2Pac featuring Dr. Dre. I realize this is technically a 2Pac song, and no disrespect to his talent, but Dre made this a hit. The production, as always, is brilliant, and the near 8-minute running time of the album version is unheard of in hip-hop today. Dre's rapping is at it's laid-back, cocksure best, as he boasts about the joys of ruling the west coast like a king. 2Pac never sounded as fun-loving or as fierce as on this standout track. Add the talk-box hook, a "Thunderdome" inspired video and you've got yourself the greatest hip-hop song EVER.
I really hate when bands do this. Especially talented bands who I generally respect. For some reason they feel the need to call out some other band who they don't particularly care for in an interview. It may just be an offhand comment that an interviewer decides to ascribe significance to, but it still smacks of Elitism and self-importance. I'm not saying musicians shouldn't have opinions about music. They are perfectly welcome to think whatever they like about fellow musicians. I'm also not so naive to think everyone can just live and let live when it comes to aesthetic choices. However, I think musicians need to think before they speak. Especially if they realize that their fanbase might overlap with the band they are dissing. You risk alienating your fans when you say "I hate (band name) If you listen to (band name) you're an idiot."
Success in the music business is 90% luck. Even if you're amazingly talented you can still toil in obscurity. Jared Leto may be a rich actor, but he started 30STM before he rose to prominence by dating Cameron Diaz. Also, he was in some little movie called "Requiem for a Dream" (I've never heard of it either). Leto worked his ass off to get the band off the ground, the same way any one who starts a band does. That alone is a reason for musicians to respect each other. They all come from nothing. Even bands which seem to be "vanity projects" for actors can't be guaranteed a huge audience (Just ask Keanu Reeves about Dogstar)
It's not just Death Cab I'm pointing the finger at. Consider the following statements made by musicians about other musicians.
Beth Ditto (The Gossip):"I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture, without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all. She's on the cover of a fucking gay magazine."
This sounds like justifiable rage, especially because Ditto is a lesbian herself. However, she's presuming to speak for an entire culture. It doesn't seem to occur to her that other gay people may like the Gossip AND Katy Perry, and have no problem with "I Kissed a Girl" because it's just a dumb dance song about girls gone wild. I understand Ditto's concern that her culture is being co-opted and commercialized, but that's what pop music has been doing since Elvis.
John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols): "Don't try and tell me Green Day are punk. They're not, they're plonk and they're bandwagoning on something they didn't come up with themselves. I think they are phony."
Funny coming from a man who was part of the NSYNC of punk. The Sex Pistols were assembled by a music producer/manager who handpicked the members for their looks and personality. That's right, Johnny Rotten, you were in a punk-rock BOY BAND. You have no authority on this subject.
Brandon Flowers (The Killers): "Emo, pop-punk, whatever you want to call it, is dangerous. We don't wanna dislike anyone, and we've still never met Fall Out Boy, but there's a creature inside me that wants to beat all those bands to death."
Really, Brandon? You realize that without your synthesizers and faux-springsteen shtick, you'd be an emo band right?
I think you get my point. Bands are generally made up of self-taught musicians, many of whom have only high-school educations. They catch a break thanks to fans who support them, or a record label that plucks them from obscurity and sets them on the path to stardom. Either way, musicians are dependent on other people. A band cannot operate in a bubble. Oh how quickly we forget. Once a band has achieved a moderate level of success, they sometimes get a little full of themselves. Even the really good ones can lose touch with reality. If you're a musician, you should be grateful ANYONE listens to your music. If you've made it, as a band, then just be happy that you've made it. You don't need to take down other bands just to try to "stand out". It's a cheap way to get publicity and it draws the focus away from your actual art. And that is the last thing you should want as an artist.
Furthermore, as an artist, a musician should recognize that anything someone creates is in some way a piece of personal expression. No one says they have to like it, but they need to respect the fact that it is still art. This even applies to the pop music on the radio. It may seem soulless and manufactured, but that doesn't mean it was made without love or passion. Even if the end result is bland and uninteresting, everyone has the right to express themselves creatively and to at least be given credit for creating something people can enjoy.
I realize this sounds like populist drivel, and that's not my intent. I think populism is just as harmful as elitism. I have no desire for everyone in the music industry to hold hands and sing "Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try and love one another right now!" God help us if it ever comes to that. If you hate what's popular in music, then get yourself out there as an alternative. Let the music do the talking. Show some class and some respect for your fellow artists, and maybe they will be mature enought o do the same. If not, you still come off looking more mature and dignified.
I was realizing today I haven't given much love to Metal on this blog. Apart from the short bit about "Metalocalypse." So today I'm going to talk about some metal bands who are not fictional, and examine the importance of metal in today's musical landscape.
Metal fans are as numerous and diverse as metal genres themselves. Some famous metal fans: Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo, comedic actor Jack Black, stand-up comic Brian Posehn and apparently, veteran actor with a really cool voice Christopher Lee (He's putting out an album about Charlemagne! Brutal!). Metal has seemingly come a long way from its Zeppelin/Sabbath roots. But, among the purest metal acts, there is still a stringent observance of the founding pillars of the genre:
THE FOUR PILLARS OF METAL
1)Extreme technical prowess: Metal is possibly the hardest genre of rock music to play (unless you play that wanky nu-metal crap). Zeppelin and Sabbath had a basis in the blues, but they also had a surprising amount in common with classical music. As metal has evolved it has only become more technical and complex.
2)Lyrics about weird/disturbing stuff: Metal lyrics are almost never about fluffy stuff like peace, love and understanding. They are usually about death, sex and hatred...and Hobbits. Sometimes. Other fun topics include: Vikings, Satan, Nuclear Annihilation, Cannibalism, Dragons, Antarctica, Cthulhu and whatever a "Nymphetamine" is.
3)Theatrics: Metal is not quite as over the top as say... glam rock, but it's one genre where dudes can get away with dressing like the spawn of Gene Simmons and Pinhead from "Hellraiser". Bands like Metallica, Pantera and Slayer forewent the costumes and makeup, but the music is just as overblown and insane as anything that came before. Songs with multiple key and tempo changes and blistering 2-minute guitar solos are pretty ridiculous when you think about it. But they're also what makes metal great.
4)Distaste for authority: While plenty of metal bands have signed to major labels and received radio play, Metal is still a largely anti-establishment genre. Especially in the case of Black Metal and Death Metal bands, who screech or growl their anti-social, anti-religious and morbid lyrics over mind-blowing speed-riffs. Songs frequently stretch past the 7-minute mark and rarely feature a catchy chorus or pop-hook. Yet these bands sell hundreds of thousands of albums and boast legions of loyal fans.
So, how do I square my love of metal with my love of far less brutal music? I don't know. I can't possibly explain why Kylie Minogue sits right next to Cradle of Filth in my I-tunes play-list. I'm just musically bi-polar. But, I can explain why the metal scene is no place for me:
The Dark(er) Side of Metal. Despite some of it's positives (a sense of community, encouraging real musical competency), metal has a number of negatives. This is true of any genre of music, but metal can be one of the hardest to defend.
1)Misogyny: Metal has never been a great place for women. That is slowly changing, but it remains a very male-dominated genre that is often guilty of treating women as sex-objects. Look, if girls want to flash their boobs at a concert, whatever. But guys at metal shows often have trouble with boundaries. There is no excuse for this. Guys need to be respectful of the women at ALL rock shows, whether they're topless or not. It's just good manners.
2)Homophobia: The word "fag" is tossed around so casually at metal shows, I don't think people even think about what they're actually saying. I don't care what you believe personally about homosexuality, when you're in mixed company, it's better not to offend. (yes I realize metal is often about offending people, but some stuff should be out of bounds). Besides, that skinny, emo-looking guy you just called a faggot likes metal too, and he just came to the show to see the band he likes, not get harassed by some douchebag in a Satyricon t-shirt.
3)Acts of Violence: I think most metal fans can agree with me on this one. Despite the dark and violent imagery in metal songs, most fans of the genre will limit their expression of brutality to mosh-pits and the occasional drunken brawl with some poseur who thinks Atreyu is way more awesome than Behemoth. But every culture has it's fringe elements, and metal's lunacy fringe can be downright terrifying. Some Black Metal fans in Scandinavia have gone as far as burning churches and murdering priests. "Dimebag" Darell of Pantera lost his life to a crazed fan who blamed him for the band's breakup. Metal shows have been rumored to include acts of animal cruelty, rape and murder. (These are often untrue and blown out of proportion by Christian watchdog groups, but I know for sure the number of women raped or people killed at metal concerts is most definitely not zero). These acts have been condemned by the metal community at large, but are unsettling nonetheless. They've also provided much ammo for metal's critics who feel the genre encourages violence, hatred and insanity.
I only bring these negatives up because I care. I love metal, I always will. I just want to see those who love it as much as I do represent the culture a little better. Metal still doesn't get the respect it deserves, and a lot of that is due to an image that overshadows the real talent and creativity in the genre.
Now, as a parting gift here is a performance from an upcoming DVD by Swedish death metal legends; At The Gates. \m/
